This is a privately owned blog. It is not and has never been an official organ of any ecclesiastical organization.
"No one man, or group of men, can himself speak for the Church of Christ. It is nonetheless possible to speak from within the Church, in conformity with Orthodox tradition; and it is this that we shall attempt to do." Fr. Seraphim Rose Orthodox Word #1 Jan-Feb 1965 p. 17
The woman who murdered my husband's first wife PART 4
Below is an email I sent to my pagan new-age sister who believes that demons are just bad thoughts that we create, and not fallen angels that God created giving them free will. I can recall how difficult it is to accept that witchcraft is real That's the stuff of fairy tales, right?
There really is such a thing as demons, and witchcraft is demons doing favors for witches who invoke them. This reality dawned on me slowly as I studied the clues. I could not have seen it without my husband's honesty. He told me everything, even though it did not make sense.
I met Ray in the spring on 1992 and we were married at the end of the year. During our "courtship" we shared our histories. Ray asked me why I was not remarried yet. (I had been divorced 4 years.) I didn't have much of an answer, I hadn't thought about it. Ray, on the other hand, had given thought to why he was not remarried yet. He said that every time he starts to get close to a woman, something happens where he comes to despise her for no reason and can't stand to be near her. One of the women he told me about could not bear the embarrassment of canceling her wedding plans and threatened Ray to either marry her as planned or she would destroy him with slander.
This is not a story that most suitors would want to disclose to a lady they are courting. This is an example of his open honesty. Without it, I never would have had gathered enough pieces to the puzzle. It was another year before I realized Ray was under a spell.
So, knowing that these things take time, I can be patient with my sister, hoping that she too will gather the clues and come to accept Christ as God, and to accept the God revealed knowledge given us through His Church.
I realized yesterday that there was a time when I believed in good and
bad spirits (both living in the psychic realm) and when I believed in
reincarnation. The cult HOOM was a "bridge" of sorts for me, because
I learned to understand more of the truth about Christ while at the
same time being allowed to believe in reincarnation (which I knew was
true). In the HOOM it was said that St. John the Baptist was himself
a reincarnation of the Prophet Elijah – and there are Bible verses
that can suggest that idea to people who are looking for evidence of
reincarnation in the Bible.
It was not until 1989 when I accepted that reincarnation is not true.
I had met Fr. Seraphim, through his writings, in the Church who I
somehow recognized as a truth-lover, and I trusted him. He said
reincarnation is not true. I had to stop at that point and ask for
God's help – I told God He was going to have to help me, because even
if Fr. Seraphim says this – I could never stop believing in
reincarnation – how could I ever stop believing in something I know so
surely? Then, after that prayer, I just forgot about the issue, and
continued on reading the interesting things I was finding in Orthodoxy
(lives of saints, mostly) (lives means biographies).
Then, sometime later, maybe 6 months or less, I remembered the issue
of reincarnation that I had put on the back burner. Lo. I did not
believe in it anymore. It was like "magic" because there was no
effort on my part, no thought or reasoning or study... I did remember
my prayer and figured that God had taken care of it. It would not be
the only time He did that for me...
But, I still believed that there are good and bad spirits in the
psychic realm. (As opposed to demons only in the psychic realm and
angels only in heaven). In 1993 I figured it out, much to my horror,
that Ray Higginbotham was under a black witchcraft spell. I
desperately wanted the spell off of him. I found a
psychic-charismatic Christian who claimed she could remove witchcraft
without using any witchcraft herself – that all of her "works" are
from God. After a year of failed promises, the spell was still on
Ray. I realized that Joan (the psychic) had been deceived because God
does not lie, God does not make mistakes, and all of God's promises
come true. In the meantime this was happening while I was a
catechumen in the Orthodox Church. I had also asked my priest to help
The priest said that spells are just demons. Joan said that, too, but
added that they are special demons in that they are "on an assignment"
not just randomly looking for mischief. The priest said that Baptism
would remove those demons. I figured this to be a very limp remedy –
something akin to drinking peppermint tea to treat a migraine. But
after Joan's promises failed, the Church was the only hope I had left.
This was now 1995.
Joan was able to help me show Ray that he was under a spell. Ray was
horrified and wanted the spell taken off. He made an appointment to
come to the church and speak with the priest after a short evening
service. But the spell would not let Ray stay in the church. He
would go into the church and get very sick, and leave the building,
only to be fine again once he got outside the building. This happened
over and over, Ray tried and failed several times during the service
to stay in the church. After the service he freaked out and went
home, not staying for his appointment with the priest. (He had come
separate from me in his truck.) Later that night at home he told me
that the "cure" (church) was worse than the "disease" (spell), – that
he was going to just have to live with the witchcraft being on him.
His decision broke my heart. It meant there was no hope for our
marriage. The spell was that he would never be happy with anyone.
Because of these experiences I was able to see for myself the weakness
in Joan's "good" spirits and the true Power of the Church. Also, I
had had the help of being under the Church's care already, having the
benefit of already being "in" the Church, as a catechumen. I'm glad
now that God brought me to see this before I was baptized. After Holy
Baptism I looked back with deep shame for thinking that Joan could
have more power than the Church, that the Church was not very
intelligent in these matters. In the Bible these "good" spirits
(taking many different forms) are called "familiar spirits".
I pray that God will too lead you to Orthodoxy. I know that you have
to somehow show willingness even in the smallest way – just a small
doubt, a willingness to say, well maybe it is possible, even if you
don't see how it can be possible... Asking God's help, asking not to
be one of the many who are fooled. Even just acknowledging that
Christ hears your prayers to God. If you give God an inch, He can
take a mile.